A note on becoming.

I’ve been noticing some shifts recently. Since qualifying as a yoga teacher - and, even, before that - I’ve placed a huge amount of focus (and expectation) on figuring out how my new yoga business would weave into my life. How I would balance it against my copywriting business. What I needed to do in order to transition into a more nourishing split.

And honestly? It started to get pretty exhausting. Every time I tried to find the answer, I came up against huge barriers. I became (quickly) overwhelmed by the variables and a lack of confidence that I could… Well, do it at all.

But now - I don’t know, something just feels different. I still don’t have the answers, but I think I’m okay with that. Instead, I’m trying to open myself up to the Universe and trust that she knows the way.

Isn’t this what we’re always trying to find in our yoga practice? A sense of faith that all will be as it is supposed to be? That if we can fully let go of our expectations we can actually live a more empowered life? That we can, then, cultivate Isvara Pranidhana?

This doesn’t come naturally to me. I like to control things - to plan them, to know what awaits. Yet I know that it’s this need to control that leaves me feeling so completely out of control.

I have to appreciate that my yoga business - much like my personal yoga experience - will be a lifelong journey. It will ebb and flow, change and develop. Things will work, and others not so much. My intuition will tell me what opportunities to grab with both hands, and my inner wisdom will let it be known when certain situations have run their course.

I’d like to think that, with time, this sense of surrender will lend itself to all areas of my life. My fiction writing, my hobbies, my other business. That if I stop trying to desperately to ‘get things right’ and ‘make the best choices’, naturally certain paths will form in front of me.

Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows? I’m here for the ride.